043- Bruised and Battered.

[Picture borrowed from ladyxaniver.deviantart.com]

A while back she met a wonderful person. Silent and reserved, often misjudged. Labelled and criticized over and over again until he started believing himself that those things were what he really was. Yet he was none of those. She knew that. When she looked into his eyes, she saw a compassionate and caring man. A child bruised with a broken home, a boy scarred by his mistakes and a man desperately wanting to find his way along a path of thorns and nails. She had never seen a man who could love so much. And it was probably the best feeling she could ever have. To be loved, by HIM. 

It took everything he had to let her in. It took all of his strength to open a box that had laid shut in the depths of his soul. A peek, a look, was all she got though. And not because he couldn't trust her with it all. Only because he was scared. Scared like the little boy that he used to be. Of being alone, of having to lose something he loved more than everything else in the world because of what she might find inside the box. He loved her, he did. She never doubted it.

On the other hand, she was just as bruised and as scarred as he was. While he shut his soul in a battered old box, she had lived building walls around herself all her life. To have someone bring those walls down, may it have been even for a second was too much. It overwhelmed her. It tore a bit of her to stand naked in front of his eyes. Her bare soul for him to see with all of her flaws, her mistakes and the facade finally lifted. It was liberating yet at the same time she felt vulnerable and fragile to have let him see all of her. Everything.

Truth be told, they were both a mess. Yes, she wanted to help him get through. And he did too. But eventually it just became too much. They were just not ready. He couldn't keep piling her problems over millions of his that already lay in a heap in the corners of his mind. And she couldn't deal with the fact that they both needed some time to fix themselves. Coz no matter how hard they tried to fix each other, it was nearly impossible. They had to do it on their own. Away from each other. Would they have had a happily ever after, had they been emotionally ready for each other? Yes, probably.  But mistakes were made. On his side and hers.


He let her face a lot on her own, left her side when she needed him the most. And she just couldn't deal with the fact that he HAD to take a break. He had to fix himself. And by the time they realized their mistakes, it was a bit too late. Even though he never meant to, he HAD hurt her in so many ways. And even though she never meant the words she said at the very end, the words were out of her mouth. Like the tick of a clock that represents time. Like that time that's lost, words once spoken can never be taken back. And so she mourns,and grieves over her loss. She hides from the world that she fails to recognize now. She fails recognize her own self. She drowns in her remorse as she sits under the willow tree where they first met. And somewhere in a lonely bed he clutches her picture to his chest as he drenches his senses with his only friend.