053- For one more day by Mitch Albom.

"People figure I crossed the line. They ask themselves, 'Could I ever get as close as he did?'
The truth is there is no line. There's only your life, how you mess it up and who is there to save you.
Or who isn't."

For one more day by Mitch Albom is the story of a former pro ball player named Charlie 'Chick' Benetto. A man drowning himself in the oceans of alcohol and regrets. He loses his job, his wife and his family at the claws of alcohol. Basically, he hits rock bottom. Which is when he decides to take his own life.
He drives to his hometown, where he decides to end it all. And as he enters a house from his memories, he finds his mother. A woman who died eight years ealier. She welcomes her son as though the years apart had been merely a myth.

A day with his dead mother, a seemingly ordinary day that would change his life. A day that would give him the chance to make up to a lost loved one. A day that would give him a chance to ask for forgiveness..

For me personally, this book has DEFINITELY struck a chord. Mitch Albom is an author that changes my thinking, that pulls me back from the brink of giving up. This books helps me gain my perspective on what is important, and that things that have gone wrong and the mistakes that you've made can indeed be fixed. If not fixed, it can be repented. It gives me hope.

052- When things get bottled up,,

"Look me in the eye, and tell me I was wrong!" 230811
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Haunting Ghosts. 270711
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'My world was on fire, no one could save me but You.' -Wicked Game by Chris Isaac. 250711
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*When things get bottled up, its spills on to these few pages...

051- Letters to My Bestfriend [Post 049 Continued.]

Dear Emily,
I sit here by the computer with no light surrounding me except the light from my screen. I sat here reading and re-reading the letter I wrote to you a year ago on this very day. Yes, it has been 1 year and six days since you left. And quite a year it has been.

After my endless attempts at sabotaging my whole life by not going to school and after I went deaf and dumb, my family finally forced me enough to get a grip. To be honest, it wasn't even them. It was the thought that you would be crushed if you knew I had become that person. The person who stops living after one bump along the way. I didn't want to be that person.

I pulled myself together, I started going to school. I studied hard, I pulled up my grades and I even started eating dinner with everyone Mom and Dad. Mom keeps telling me I should make new friends, and so I started hanging out with our old gang. But it still isn't the same without you. Jenny and Martha keeps treating me as though I am a charity case. And that pisses the hell out of me. But I cant even say anything to get out of their endless pity parties.

And here I am today after a year, still standing straight. But I wonder Em, I wonder if I am REALLY living. It feels like ever since you died, I died WITH you. I feel like a lifeless being walking around doing what everyone wants me to do. Smiling and faking every day of my life. And I can't help but wonder what you would say, if you had been here.

I still miss you everyday and I still feel stuck. The only difference is that I can fake it now. I can fake the hell out of it.

Love,
Kate.

050- Eighteen.

I haven't been writing at all for a long time now eh? The reason would be that I was very busy with a workshop on Autism at our center. Anyhow, I am back! :D

After a hard and hectic workshop, I finally received my certificate. It was a very good feeling, I tell you. I have a glowing sense of accomplishment. It was hard and I got through it! And it feels great! :D

Well, anyway, the big news is that on the 18th of this month I turned Eighteen. *Hi5* [ ;) ] How did I celebrate my birthday? Well, I had started making this new dress for my birthday ages before the day and I got all dressy and went out to my Birthday celebration/Breaking fast with my very closest friends. The food was really good and we had lots of fun. The chicken was to die for! o.o After wards we went to walk by the sea, us girls. Hence, the day was just about perfect! ^.^

I will be updating soon with something good. Til then take care! :)

Also, a very big thank you to everyone who wished! :)

049- The story goes...

And the story goes in such a way,
A way that would break a broken soul.
A girl was scarred by blood of her own,
and sworn she has to forever be silent.
She walked through the doors gracefully,
A pasted smile and a practiced laugh.
She had a cloak over her life,
A cloak that was meant to hide her pain.
A well thought out masquerade,
while she revels in her misery.
A prince walks into her crumbled life.
Puts the pieces together again.
Colours her life with hope and dreams,
Of things that shattered her very core.
A life she had before he came,
A life that was thoroughly broken.
He wears his mask well in place,
charms her into an endless haze.
Whoever would have predicted,
the charming prince was indeed a demon in disguise?

048- An attempt for a Story.

Hey guys! So I am planning on writing a series of letters in form of a story. So the basic outline of the story is that these said letters are from a girl to her deceased best friend at different points of her life. Now, I am gonna go ahead and warn you, I have a tendency of not finishing stories that I start. :/ So I am gonna just go ahead and say I am sorry in case that does happen. But I will try my very best to finish this time. :) Hope you all like it. And please leave as many comments as you want. Remember the comments are what keeps me going. ;)

So here goes...
                                                       *                 *                *

Dear Emily,
Today is six days after you left me. Six incredibly messed up days after having cried my eyes out in front of a thousand people. Six sleepless nights trying to figure out a way to reach out to you, to communicate and to pour my heart out to you like I did so many times before. 'Pour my heart out', it sounds cliche', I know Em. But come to think of it now, that was what we always did.

Tell me something, Em? Is it possible to reach out to the dead? Is it possible that these words I am writing will float to you wherever you are at this moment? Heaven or no heaven, could my feelings be felt by you even now, just like you always did before? Well, I honestly thought that if I had died before you did, I would spend my after life haunting you, following you around and scaring you to death. [Occasionally, as it DOES sound hilarious.] The least I can expect is that you are standing behind this very moment reading the sort of crap that I always happen to write.

I know what you'll be thinking if you were here right now. You would think that I am crazy. Well, 'Crazy but incredibly awesome' as you always preferred to say. I know that this is a tad bit crazy. [Well, a LOT crazier than I'd dare to admit to myself.] But Em, I feel lost without you. I can't shake off the image of you in a hospital bed while you took your very last breath. It just sucks like hell. I am just a kid, I am 15. How can I just learn to live without the one person who used to be like an extended part of me? How can I live without my best friend? How can I move on without you, Em?

And how is it fair for God to take you away. You were just 15 yourself. You had your whole life ahead of you. We were going to do so many things together. Hell, we even said that when we got married and had kids, we would even make our kids marry each other. We had so many dreams. You had so many dreams. How is it fair?

I know we had a lot of good memories together before you were diagnosed with Cancer. So many epic moments with each other doing things that were both silly and absolutely crazy. And even after the big C hung over our heads, never once did you complain. Never once did you let us know how crushed and sad you must've been. You were always that way, never wanting to burden anyone with your sadness. Instead you were always the one who shared your happiness around. Spreading the smile that always accompanied you everywhere. I have had 8 years of good memories with you and yet all I remember now is your ashen face and chapped lips. Cracking with every attempt and making everyone laugh.

I don't know what to do, Em. I haven't gone to school in these 6 days, and honestly I don't suppose I can. I got through school everyday only because I had you standing beside me. And now I am just stuck. I need you here, Em. I need you back. And it breaks my heart that there's NO WAY that, that is possible.

Your best friend,
Kate.

047- Ramadan Mubarak.

Its not too late to change your ways and repent your mistakes. Kneel in Sajdha and ask God for forgiveness and to strengthen your Imaan this Ramadan.

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said "There has come to you Ramadan, a blessed month which Allah has enjoined you to fast, during which the gates of heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed, and the rebellious devils are chained up. In it there is a night which is better than a thousand months, and whoever is deprived of its goodness is indeed deprived."
[Sunan al-Nasaa'i (2106) and others - Classed as Sahih by Sh al-Albaani in Sahih al-Targheeb wa Tarheeb (999)]

Ramadan Mubarak. :)