008- A Letter.

Dear Guy in the Yellow Jersey,

A few months ago you strolled in to my life- calm and quiet. Silent, you were. There was something about you that caught my eye. Maybe it was the way you lowered your gaze when our eyes met, or maybe it was the lazy smile that flashed just a moment before you averted your eyes. You weren't like everyone else, you were distant and unreachable.

I never felt that way before. I couldn't get your image out of my head. Your yellow jersey, your soccer shoes and the way your eyes crinkled attractively when you smiled. I was feeling something and it confused me. I was someone who needed to know that person before I even thought about feeling something for that person. And yet here I was losing sleep over someone who I'd just caught a glimpse of. Now that I think about it, knowing someone before I fell for them never got me anywhere. Somewhere down the line. they always change their colors. I guess this way was better, don't You agree?

I took weeks before I decided that I wanted, I NEEDED to talk to You. I needed to get to know You. I couldn't let go of that feeling. Not without a fight. And so it started with a lame hello, and our conversations stretched easily through the stories of my life and Yours. I questioned Your sanity at times, and You often pushed me away and I don't know how- but You eventually let me in.

You were a lost soul, drifting in a river of Your mistakes. And I was a confused being, searching for a reason to survive, a reason to live. Through that haze of our life, we met and we told each other all the stories that were to be told. You found Your way through my confusion, and I found my reason within Your bruised soul. You made me feel loved, you made me feel like I was special. And I found myself smiling for real. We became each others' much needed crutches. I helped You stand when You were down, and You pulled me up when I couldn't carry the weight. I advised You, I lectured You, I pointed out Your mistakes. You determined Yourself, You said You'd change. And I caught myself, falling for You.

You give me a reason to smile everyday, knowing that somewhere there is someone who thinks of me and refrains from his own destruction. You make me feel like I am a part of You, that no matter what, You won't let go. You make me feel that I am complete, coz I know that somewhere there is someone, who can make sense of my confusion.

You say I should've chosen someone who could make me forget my problems. Someone sane, someone who comes from a stable background. Yes, it would have made my life easier. Yes, my problems would have subsided. But all I wanna say is that I don't need someone like that. I don't need someone who makes me FORGET. I want someone who I can TALK to about my problems. Someone who'll understand. Not just SAYING that he understands, but someone who has really been through the same things that I did. Someone who gets it for real. Someone like You.

Its been just three months to the day You and I became an US. And as short as the time has been, it has been the best. I know that what we have is complicated. I know it will get more complicated in the times that is yet to come. I know we have to fight. I know it will be really hard to win. But know this, I will fight, will all that I have. I will stand up for us. I will defend what we have. Coz I know You, and I know how much You have changed. Coz You make me proud, everyday. And that's why I love You.

With all my love,
The Girl with a Broken Smile.