031- Living in a Bubble.

I feel like all my life I have been living in a bubble. Like there is a wall between me and the rest of the world. A wall where I can see the other side clearly, but all THEY see is what I show them. People label me and judge me. They assume things about me. And I let them. ANYTHING is better than the ugly truth. And what IS the ugly truth, you ask? That's a secret I'll never tell. :P

Once someone told me that, all his life he has been living in a box. [I even blogged about it. :P] And so have I. I have been so used to being in that box. Well actually its more like in my box are my emotions. *I* am probably not in there. Coz as far as the world can see, I am smiling wide in front of them. Very real. The box contains all those thoughts and all those emotions that I've blocked out. The emotions that I've tossed aside.

Well, anyway, right now.. Things have kinda taken a turn from where I have no idea to return back to the norm. I need a certain someone right now. A certain someone that I know would get what I am going through. But that person seems to have that person's own problems. That person needs time and space. And so I am trying to give it to that person. But I can't help reaching out every once in a while, coz I am in a rut too. But I don't wanna ask for that person's help. Yes, I NEED that person's help. But I WONT ask for it. I don't want to seem clingy and needy.

I am confused, I am angry, I am sad. I feel like I am having a manic episode every single day. I am feeling so many things at once. I feel like I have a weigh on my shoulders that I cannot lift. But do know this, that I am trying my best. I WONT fall down. I won't give up that easily. But it wouldn't hurt if that person gave me a hand. If only that person would get that I really need that person right now. If only we could set OUR problems aside and deal with YOUR problems and MINE.