022- Today.

 Dear Batman,

Today, I am blogging from the place where I work. Everyone has left the office and gone home. I sit here alone listening to 'The dock of the bay by Sara Bareilles'. I am trying to savor the quiet, the silence. I wanna just pause the spiral of thoughts that seems to be circling at a 1000mph. I'll sit here as long as I need to clear my head. Coz honey, You've left my mind in a tangle.

Today, I am smiling. You know how people say work is stress, well I dare to differ. Work is therapeutic for me. I get to do what I love, and I get to avoid all the drama that seems to come from either relationships or friends and family. [No offense intended. You know I love ya. :P]

Today, right now, in this moment, I seem to be at peace. This place with its off white walls, [That's soon gonna be filled with art (hopefully with my genius ideas. ;) ) to lessen its slight dullness] dark brown doors and a cozy little table [which is the reception area.] with a comfy chair seems to calm my mind. I stare at the white fan as it goes round and round as does this earth with every passing second. But *I* somehow seem to be stuck. And oddly enough, I wanna remain like this. I don't wish to move forward. I just want You to stop those steps that you're taking forward and turn around. Coz hun, I have stopped walking. You gotta notice that I can't move forward anymore. You gotta understand that it'll hurt me if I try. You gotta come back. You gotta come stand beside me. You gotta stay here with me, until I CAN move. You gotta stop for me.

Today, as of now, I am drifting away from the mess that is unfortunately my life at the moment. Some music for my soul and some alone time for my mind is all I need as of now. Yes, I miss my life outside of these four walls. I miss the people who care about me. I miss the people who I KNOW loves me. But, the time I spend with them, it seems to be drifting us apart. Especially You and me. I screw up. A lot. But You already know that by now..

Today, I wanna lose myself and preferably never be found. But its up to You, to look for me. If You find me, I'll take it as a sign from God that this is meant to be. So, if You want me, come find me.


Love always.
I will always be here. :)